Ok not that sick but feeling pretty shoddy, snuffly nose, sore throat and sore noggin. Adrian was hit with a 24hr bug on Friday which was promptly ended on Saturday with a visit to MY ensuite! I mean we had guests and all but seriously dude, my bathroom?! Good thing is he is all better now and was in fact able to play his first soccer game of the season that afternoon with his Griffith grandparents in tow.
Ok so you are being prewarned, don't say I didn't tell you! There are really two meanings to this post title.. Gross baby story ahead...
So Thursday morning baby and I are having a lovely chat on the lounge together with him sitting on my lap...you see where I'm going with this yet?
I hear the familiar rumblings I have come to know so well and lift him quickly into a standing position. Sometimes that stuff has nowhere else to go but up and out you see so I like to take precautions. Problem is I was obviously too late as I look down and see a small sample on my lap. I turn him around to inspect the back of his nappy. Houston, we have a problem! Not only has he managed to cover half his back but what I thought was a small sample was in fact a reasonable sized pool which must have sprung a leak as I feel a dampness easing it's way down between my legs, heading for the couch below. (Thank goodness it's leather!)
Panic hits as I frantically search for the best way to handle this dire situation. Reason sets in and I lie baby tummy down on the couch whilst I very carefully peel off my fishermans pants (recommended for this very situation as things could have been much more catastrophical without the pooling factor). It is indeed very tricky doing this mindful that there is carpet below me and the blinds are all up for the world to see my juggling act. I manage successfully and carry baby upstairs for his inevitable bath.
The phone rings whilst I am undressing him on my bed. He is on a folded over cloth nappy but nethertheless he is a wriggling pooey mess. I answer the phone. I know, stupid. It's Adrian's principal and she proceeds to explain that Adrian will not need an exemption form to go overseas as our trip runs into the school holidays and the time we will be away is under the 15 days requiring the form, blah blah blah.. I almost chuckle to myself as I wonder what she would think if she knew I was walking around half dressed with underpants wet with baby poo ( yes, it went that far!)
I undress baby after hanging up and carry him to the bath and just as I'm about to put him in, I feel a warm trickle work it's way down my chest, down my belly to the floor below. He's weeing! "You've got to be kidding me!!", I shreak which turns to laughter as I see him light up with delight at my squeals. Ratbag! With nowhere else to go and with a sudden trigger urge to use the loo myself, I lie him down on the bath mat and watch helplessly as he rolls onto the cold tiles, smiling madly obviously relishing the fact that I can't do anything or we may just end up with a much messier situation.
Finally I have him bathed and carry him all towelled up to the bed only to hear the doorbell ring. Crap! It's the courier guy, I get some ridiculous notion in my head that I can leave baby undressed on his towel, throw something over my head , run downstairs and accept the delivery thinking that the husband will pitch a fit if he knows I ignored it. I mean it's the power supply for his beloved 'Frau Mac'. Reason once again sets in as I survey the situation with naked baby ready to take aim at any given time and I am standing there still half dressed with baby muck all over me. Uh yeah, lets be smart eh, Rch? I begin to dress him whilst shushing his cooing so as not to hear the incessant ringing of the doorbell when the guy realises there is indeed someone home.
I step into the shower and wash like the water may be cut by the water board any second as I listen to the growing cries of my sweet little angel who no longer wants to be entertained by his cradle mobile.
Darren often says they come in cute packages so you won't leave them at the hospital, lucky Noah is so darn cute.
You are doing nothing to sell motherhood to me! After reading this I had to scroll down and play Noah's giggle, just to remind myself. I think Darren is sooo right. Life sounds hilarious and hectic at the mo, imagine what it's going to be like travelling.
ReplyDeleteLOL - oh my goodness. What can I say? We've had a few poo moments too. At the time, in the middle of it, it's frantic, but afterwards it makes for good mummy sharing. We all need to know that these things do happen.
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